Why I Fear Running
Why run? Why does one really run? I think the question varies from person to person, but for the longest time I felt that the motivation for me was because everyone else was doing it. Lesson learned. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean you should. However, if that is your motivation to start something that in the long run will benefit you, than why not? The most important thing about fitness is that you should do what you enjoy because that in itself is motivation.
Years ago when I started running, I wanted to do it right. I did not want to just get up one day and start running. I felt as though my mindset for running was the idea of a track & field star. I could do sprints. Just keep it short and really fast, but what was that doing for me? I decided to take a class through the local Boston Center for Adult Education on how to have the proper stance while running and how to create a training plan to work myself up to a 5k. It was through this class that I also learned that I enjoyed working out with other people. Being able to see people work through their frustrations and achieve their goal, pushed me to continue. Through that class I had an end insight - to run in my very first 5k.
Which I did and was very proud to achieve that goal, but as you read about in my My Addiction to Soul Cycle my infatuation with running slowly diminished. I continued to try to be part of a running club once I moved backed home, but found myself not in the same shape as I was living in the city. I soon realized that my health condition was more severe then I realized. I eventually gave up and put running on the backside. As time passed, I grew to think that I was never a runner and that I just like many others went through a fad. However my thoughts on running grew into an anxiety about what it means to be a runner. Could I consider myself a runner if I only ever did less than 5 miles? I was not at marathon status by any means, but if I wanted to pick it up again would I be doing it any justice? I decided since I have been slowly working spinning into my workout that I want to be able to start running again. Right now it is baby-steps but the benefit of living Boston, there is the community out there that can help build motivation.